Dorothy Parker

“I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things.”

“But I’m not going to do those he-said she-said things anymore, they’re over, honey, they’re over.”
From “Self-Portrait”

Bohemia
“Authors and actors and artists and such
Never know nothing, and never know much.
Sculptors and singers and those of their kidney
Tell their affairs from Seattle to Sydney.
Playwrights and poets and such horses’ necks
Start off from anywhere, end up at sex.
Diarists, critics, and similar roe
Never say nothing, and never say no.
People Who Do Things exceed my endurance;
God, [...]

She was a “fair woman of the type that incites some men when they use the word “blonde” to click their tongues and wag their heads roguishly.”
From “Big Blonde”

I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.